*** My wife and I have gone green---we envy everybody!!
*** My computer crashed ---into my fist---after I booted it!
*** According to his writings Thoreau was very disappointed by the absence of a Walden Books where he chose to live.
*** If a tree falls in the woods and there's no one there to hear it, will a chipmunk still get a crushed skull?
*** Great restaurant---their Early Bird Special was a bowl of worms!
*** According to Fanny Brice's memoirs, Billy Rose was quite proud of his Jumbo.
*** I always dread the approach of the Jewish New Year---I know for weeks afterward I'll be dating my checks 5751.
*** Reports are that President Bush and VP Cheney will skip the Republican Convention. Hey, why should they be different than everyone else?
*** John McCain explained his choice of Alaskan governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. "My friends, I remember when I was panning for gold with Jack London up there in the Klondike. I made friends with her great grandparents. Fine people. Since then I've kept track of her rise."
*** A man who reportedly stabbed his wife 47 times, told the cops he did so because he hated her. Asked why he didn't divorce her, he said, "I couldn't. I'm a devout Catholic!"
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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