Infotainment Tonite!!

Hi, everybody, this is Jack Tohdee along with Amber Hedlytes for Infotainment Tonite!!


$$$ British Ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair wowed 'em last week at Parliament (are they still wearing wigs??---how retro!!). The still boyish-looking Blair, there to testify on just how exactly he let ridin'-high-in-the-saddle Texan impresario George Bush talk him into that loud,high-budget Middle East production, which we later learned was poorly written, lacked credible acting and as it turned out, didn't even have a McGuffin!!
'Dapper Downing Street Tony', showing extraordinary self-knowledge, and to the delight of all, chose to deliver his testimony as one of Monty Python's Upper-Class Twits, donning a bowler and putting in buck teeth enhancers, as well as, borrowing from another skit, continually punctuating his testimony with, "wink-wink...nudge-nudge...say-no-more...say-no-more..."
Blair was triumphant!! Reportedly, talks between him and theater bigwigs on Drury Lane have begun!!
Blair later said he considered it his "Finest Moment!"

$$$ Well, excitement grows to a fever pitch and all eyes turn to Miami where this Sunday, Super Bowl LXIV---Hey Amber, is that 17?--forget it....will be played. Yes, the Indianapolis Colts, led by Super Quarterback Man Peyton Manning---and not a few Colt fans expect him to make Stadium "Peyton's Place" --
"Oh, Jack, you should be ashamed,tee hee!!"
Sorry Amber! Going against Indianapolis will be the New Orleans Saints, the sentimental favorites, for their being Super Bowl-Virgins, and their being from a town that suffered that bummer Hurricane Katrina a few years back...... another question lingering on fans' lips is "If he wins the Super Bowl is there any tangible marketable object Manning won't do a TV ad for?"
Yes, many around the country are pullin' for the Boys from Basin Street for those sentimental reasons, although actually only an assistant team waterboy is from New Orleans...... And what else does the Super Bowl mean---that's right, all the new commercials---and you know there'll be at least two really clever and funny ones...

Yes, and as happens every year, all 16 of them (paying in ad fees this year a reported record 10-million dollars a nanosecond), will be judged by those elitist party-poopers, "The Institute for Charting and Monitoring the Continuing Descent of American Intelligence, Taste and Values".
Institute head Ivan Gisseldorf was quoted as saying, "This year we will not be surprised to see a further increase in the trends we have classified as a) men and/or women pathologically sexually stimulated with a by luxury car (we call this 'auto--eroticism'---our little joke) or a bottle of beer, far more than their human mates; they will often "comically" push aside, insult and/or humiliate them to get the real object of their desire.

b)Attempts to wring humor out of sexual or scatologicakl situations that make the viewer long for the Oscar Wildean bon mots of Larry the Cable Guy.

c)And, of course, that reliable old chestnut, laughing at somebody experiencing extreme mortification and/or life-threatening injuries."

Hey, I say lighten up guys and throw back a few brewskis!! Right Amber!!

Speakling of commercials, if the Colts should win, many people are eager to see exactly how many tangible marketable objects Peyton Manning is willing to do a TV ad for!

Now for the Infotainment News ticker:
Taylor Swift wins only four Grammies...... Beyonce wins 6 Grammies---in an attempt to atone for the past, Kanye West wrenches all six away from Beyonce and dropped them on Swift!!...... !!"......Hot female singer, Fergie, had an embarrassing moment at the ceremonies when she accidentally entered the Men's Room and saw four black guys pee......No truth to the rumor that Angela Jolie is leaving Brad Pitt forJennifer Aniston.Relatedly, Pitt hinted to a reporter why he and Angela went splitsville, "The diaper smell was getting , like, intense!!"...... Avatar continues to dominate the box office, as James Cameron expressed only one regret: that he was unable to get Celine Dion to sing the film's stirring love song "Anaki Tepukka B'ushinti Qui-ka" (I've Got You Under My Avatar's Skin")

That's all from Infotainment Tonite.

This is Jack Tohdee, along with Amber Headlytes, saying good night!!