Krishna Morty presents Native-American comic Passing Water

Krishna Morty regrets that he cannot be here with his acolytes (yep, they all act alike!)---but seriously, I'm still running afoul of Homeland Security, who booked me for a two-week gig at Gitmo---my luck to have a friend named Al Kayda who asked me, as a favor, to go to the airport and buy two tickets to Washington D.C.! I get no reverence, I impart to ya!!

Graciously filling in at the last minute---well, luckily he was lying around in his trailer on the reservation watching his two favorite films on a loop---"The Unforgiven" and "The Searchers"---what can I say, he has Presbyterian Fever!!
"Well, anyway, here from the fork in the Spoon River--- put your hands together--watchit!!--I didn't say Simon says!!---for Passing Water.
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"Hey, it's great to be here!! Actually as a Native -American, It's great to be anywhere!!" !

"But historians say that you palefaces, over the span of four centuries, had killed over 100 million of my brothers and sisters as you advanced across the continent. Okay, I'll grant you this---in those days it was hard to book a non-stop flight on a great silver bird to the Coast!!"

"Yeah, but I'm from a lesser known tribe---a hybrid of the Navaho and Aztecs---the Azhos."

"I admit, the Azhos were not the smartest tribe---we wept and mourned for days when a week of heavy showers forced us to cancel our Rain Dance!
We allowed the palefaces to buy our goods with necklaces, beads and wampum!"


"But how about those Cheyenne---they call themselves "The people"---Pretty imaginative, huh?

"I have to admit that sometimes my Indian brothers do not appreciate a joke---one night I left the stage wearing an Arrow Shirt!

" My family has made a living weaving rugs, which we sold to bald guys from the side of the road.

" But my tribe, the Azhos were not very warlike---we only put on war paint at costume parties. During cavalry attacks we put our teepees in a circle!
In one John Ford film he depicted our entire tribe being captured by Andy Devine!"
However, during the Civil War we did volunteer to fight for the West!."

Right now the tribe is very confused, having been use to centuries of "The Great White Father in Washington!"

" We Azhos lost a bundle at Little Big Horn betting on Custer!"

" But during Prohibition we made a nice living making bootleg Firewater!"

"We never had an Indian in the Cupboard---but one did come out of the closet!"

" And we Azhos were not the strongest on native traditions---we thought a dreamcatcher was Yogi Berra!"
Later on we sold them as novelty items: Polish diaphragms.

The Azhos do not have daycare but we do have one woman who carries 10 papooses on her back!

"In our schools we practice separation of Great Spirit and State!

"We used to hunt buffalo not for food and blankets, but because we considered their ears sacred!

"Hey, you braves have been great---may you reach the Happy Hunting Grounds an hour before the Bureau of Indian Affairs knows your dead!!"