What's it All About, Alf?

Welcome baffled, confused, frustrated, bewildered and panicky. I join yo…er…Join Me!!

I guess the question I’m most often asked is “Krishna Morty, where do you get your robes done?”
No, seriously, (Bernie’s Robe-a Rama in downtown Calcutta)---
I am asked “What is the meaning of life?” “Why are we here?” “Where did we come from?”
I look with infinite compassion and patience on the perplexed searcher and say softly, “Do you see 411 on my forehead?!!”
I remember one moment I had with a young sojourner after truth (she ran a hell of a Underground Railway---lets give it up for her!!)--- he was filled with suicidal despair, standing on the edge of a cliff, as he said to me, “Life is totally meaningless!”
At first I discreetly responded “What business is that of yours??”
But I like to be personable under such occasions, so I tendered,
“ Well, if what you say is true, then does it not follow that what you said is also meaningless?”
He paused a moment in his determination to engage in his act of self-destruction, and we began to chat amiably about what I had just said.
After an hour or so of affable discussion, filled with many a chuckle and chortle at the ambiguity and paradoxes of existence, he waved goodbye and jumped.
I remember asking myself afterwards, “Now, what have I learned from this experience?”
Which brings me to some point, I believe.
Life is a big school.
We are all here to learn.
We all started out in Pre-K (pre-Karma).
As the wise Beatle, George Harrison sang, “You’re a billion years old today!”
(This morning Krishna Morty feels it---I have lower back pain you only shouldn’t know from!)
Over a multitude of life times our souls either pass on to the next grade, sometimes get left back, or sometimes, thanks to increased righteous efforts and extra-credt projects we skip a grade or more.
Our success, in reaching Nirvana---or in this paradigm, finally finishing graduate school---depends on upon how much we learn from our mistakes, correct our course and get through this wacky place I like to call the world.
I like to remind my fellow beings that “the first 100 lives are the hardest.”.
You may be wondering, “Krishna Morty, can I know my academic standing, if you will?” Well, why in the hell should I?
No in all spiritualness, I have learned through the Mystical Righteous and Revered Swami Igednokikfrumshampayn, who has access to the secret and mysterious transcript department at the University of the Cosmos (The Fightin’ Archangels).
From him I learned I’m about to enter my Freshman year of high school.
You may laugh, but Krishna Morty will just say this with a heart full of compassion to most of you,
"Don't forget your Harry Potter lunchbox!"