Forget Your troubles, C'Mon Get Hopped Up!

*** My uncle told me he lost a lot of money on the nags—I asked, -“the race track, huh?” “No my ex-wives!”

*** Somebody sent me an e-mail suggesting that I “ratchet down the subtlety” ?

*** There was a story about a young actress who recently refused to do a full frontal nudity scene. The producer complained that she was hiding her bush under a Kleig light.

*** I printed out a flow chart yesterday---my pants got soaked!!

*** My sister asked what postage she had to put on an e-mail.

*** No wonder Murder, Inc. was so successful in the 1930’s--- the dumb government had the Security and Exchange Commission investigating them!

*** I wonder if in BC times they sentenced a man to life to 20 years?

*** Eugene O’Neill was always saying he found a message in a bottle---that’s how he wrote all his plays.

*** It musta been a typo in the paper today when they referred to the Florida Fish, Game and Wardens Department.

*** You can tell the network news departments are cutting back on expenses---one of them has a new feature, “Hitchhiking on the Road with Charles Kuralt Jr.”