*** My uncle Izzy has finally lost his mind---just hope no one finds and returns it.
*** Great---now Selena’s ex-Fan Club head wants to be mine!
*** My sister---she thought soulmates meant someone with the same shoe size as yours.
*** My wife talks a lot---Even though I don’t need one, I bought a hearing aid just so I can turn it off!
*** Ever have one of those pens where you have to turn the bottom part of the barrel---clockwise to get the point out, counterclockwise for the point to retract?
Problem is that in the act of using it, the barrel automatically starts turning and you’re trying to write with a gradually disappearing point.
They oughta sell these things in novelty stores, alongside the Dribble Glass.
*** Actress hopeful, Cousin Ariel can’t catch a break---last role she had was as Godot in Beckett’s play.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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