Bonfire of the Inanities

*** Okay, I know I live in a small town , but whoever heard of an All-Volunteer hospital staff??

*** The cops notified us there’s a pedophile living on our street. I told my wife it probably was not a good idea to welcome him to the neighborhood with hot-coss buns and cinammon cake sticks.

*** I saw a guy pitch a perfect game yesterday. He faced twenty-seven men and none of them could get to first base. In my old neighborhood we’d call that a Jewish-American Princess.

*** I had to convince my sister that the song “Hey look me over, lend me an ear” was not sung by Marc Antony in Julius Caesar.

*** Obama is being criticized for calling the police who arrested a man for breaking into his own house,” stupid.”
I don’t know, I kinda think if that’s something Laurel and Hardy did in one of their films,---well, case closed!

*** One thing I know for sure: If I had a foot-long, I’d sure as hell charge more than $5!

*** I heard that at recent taping of Ozzie Osbourne’s show, he told an assistant producer that he was driving him “batty!” The producer said, "We’ll, you don’t have to bite my head off!!”

*** Pretty tacky---a local funeral home changed its name to “Coffins R Us”!