Mrs. Otis Regrets the Elevator's Stuck Today

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:
Obama wrangles with own party over health-care plan---later sobs, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!!”

•” Ahmadinejad's vice president choice rejected by supreme leader”—okay, I say pick either President or Supreme Leader and go with it!•

"Morgan Stanley loses more than $1.2 billion during 2nd quarter"---musta forgotten in which off-shore account they stashed it!

• “Is marijuana the answer to Calif.'s budget woes?”--maybe not, but it’ll sure take their minds off it.


• Modern human stabbed Neanderthal man, study suggests--- Ya mean this isn’t an “X-Files” episode?

• Scorpion boards plane in carry-on luggage, stings passenger--- those terrorists will stop at nothing, I tell ya!!


“WINTER PARK, Fla. (July 20) -- A Florida dentist is being sued for allegedly dropping tools down the throat of an elderly patient — twice”.---Dentist admits that he’s always been more interested in Internal Medicine.
------------------------------------ ------------------------------- *** I’m starting to sleep till the wee wee hours of the morning.

*** I was told I really brought down the house at my last appearance---the club owner said he'd never seen people so despondent.

*** My slutty niece Sultrina---I heard that when she plays “chicken” in the pool, she gets on the boys’ shoulders the other way around..

*** At his sanity hearing, the guy who thought he was Marlon Brando entered a plea of “Not a Contender”.

*** I din’t think Sarah Palin can help it---obviously her Reptilian Brain has taken a giant munch out of her Cerebrum.

*** My ex-boss was a real multi-tasker---he never ran out of tasks for me to do!