Michael Row the Loot Offshore

*** Well, first for the 800-pound gorilla in the room. "Okay, Konga!! Out!!!"

*** I don't know what's goin' on with my sports hosiery when it's in the laundry. The last time I saw so many white socks disappear was after the fixed 1919 World Series.

*** In a vain moment I asked my wife, "Don't you think I'm breathtakingly handsome?" "Well, I notice most people turn away when they see you and take their breath with them!"she said.

*** Crazy uncle Izzy is back in the loony bin.
I mean, who robs graves to steal buttons??

*** Aspiring actress Ariel auditioned for the part of "Anybody's" in West Side Story---there were no takers.

*** Two more words or expressions that should go the way of analog TV soon:

"iconic"--seems like everything or every other person is "iconic".
"That really rocks!!"---it's getting a little ridiculous. I reached that conclusion when I heard someone say "A colonoscopy really rocks!!"

*** That Nancy Pelosi's really let power go to her head---I heard that she'll only take calls on Speaker phone.