Sweet Analyzed

*** I asked my wife if I was the man of her dreams---She said, "Yeah, right behind Freddie Krueger!"

*** It's really annoying getting something in your eye---it's like a thorn in your sight!

*** My hippie cousin was a biologist back in the day---he tried to make little countercultures in his petri dish.

*** I saw an interesting show about these two guys---one lazy, the other a swindler who started a successful ice cream business---We know them as "Baskin' and Robbin' ".

*** My shrink said I have a split personality---the second people see me they wanna split.

*** The Sham-Wow guy and The OxyClean guy are doing a commercial together in the Philippines---they're calling it The Shriller in Manilla.

*** I think Major League baseball is more exciting these days than ever---I can tell---it now takes me till the fifth inning to fall asleep.