Raga My Soul in the Bosom of Abbie Lane

Hey, Llamas and Gentlemen---this is Khrishna Morty and I apologize for being a day late (and a Dalai short).

I was held over a day at the "Giggles Guffaws and Nirvana" in Cleveland. Interesting place. They don't tip the waitresses, but offer them copious blessings. Regrettably the waitresses say they are not ashamed that they spit in their drinks.

*** We must be mindful that every act sends out a ripple---think of Amy Whitehouse---there's an act who looks like she sends out for a lot of ripple!


*** I like that ol' fashion RagaTime music. Speaking of which they are starting to call Ravi Shankar's talented grandson, Johnny Sitar.


*** Even in my highly enlightened state---lost 15 pounds last month---there are many things that I cannot know---Only the Buddha does---and he doesn't like to be Buddhaed with stupid questions (yeah, like you thought this wasn't gonna sneak in somewhere along the way!--and, Yeah, I practice it now and Zen! Okay! Got that over with!)
Questions such as:
Why does God hate the Chicago Cubs?
Why is Two and a Half Men still on the air?
Why do sports announcers always say someone's having "good success"?
Paris Hilton, the OctoMom, Britney Spears, ex-Gov.Rod Blagojevich--oh, just Why!

*** When began meditation under my Divine teacher, Sowutsupwithyutudai, I did it for ten minutes. Each day I would add a minute.
This was many years ago---I now meditate 9 hours and 41 minutes a day, give or take. My unenlightened wife, Sylviadayenta, asks why I meditate so long. "To reach an ever higher oneness with God," I say. "Oh is that what all the other lazy unemployed bums are sayin'??!" I feel compassion for this woman in her great distance from enlightenment.

*** We must remember that we are all part of the glorious infinite creation--patent pending.

*** Just a heads up for you seekers. I'll be appearing next week at Uncle Swami's House of Laughs and Self-Renunciation in Pittsburgh.