Saturday, April 25, 2009

How Much is that Doggie in the White House?

*** A very proper lady was offended by one of my off-color jokes. She said I should leave my bad taste in my mouth.

*** Well, my promiscuous niece has achieved something---she's been named to the board of directors of Unplanned Parenthood

*** Baseball has become so commercialized. I mean, "This replay of that foul ball was brought to you by Toyota!"; "this timeout while the pitcher spits and pulls on his crotch was brought to you by FTD Florists!"

*** Obama keeps starting his sentences with, "Let me make one thing clear..."well, we're waiting!

*** I just can't convince my sister that Gilbert and Sullivan didn't write "Alone Again Naturally".

*** As far as I can see that submarine pitcher that ball team obtained has torpedoed the team.

*** Well, they threw my convict uncle Max back in the hole. At his arraignment the judge asked him how he pleaded. He said, "Usually on my knees!"

*** The teenage Somali pirate has been sentenced to 15 men on his chest.

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