*** Crazy Uncle Izzy's back in the loony bin. They caught him taking pictures of young girls nude. Why he was nude while taking their pictures I don't know.
*** I wish that Tony Bennett would stop bothering me. He keeps comin' around asking me to do a duet with him.
*** I asked my wife what song we should play while we make love. "How 'bout 'The Thrill is Gone'!", she said.
*** Swine Flu? Yeah, when pigs had wings.
*** I understand that it's not so much there's a black family in the White House that upsets right-wing rednecks, but that they won't dust, do the laundry, and make the beds.
*** My nephew told me he wears a condom all the time. I asked why. He said, "Well, I'm afraid of catching viruses while I'm using my laptop."
*** After Adam created her from his rib, Eve asked him to use a Rib Condom.
*** My son got that satellie Internet connection---now he gets space junk mail.
*** I saw three hours of special programming on the Swine Flu last night and the main message was not to panic!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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