Krishna Morty---Hey, But It's Great to be Here, There and Everwhere.

*** I bow to the God within you---no seriously, I mean it!!

*** I have followed all my life the precepts of one guiding spiritual text---I guess you could call me a Tibetan Book of the Deadhead!

*** This is my 817th incarnation---Hey , it's not easy repaying those student loans!

*** No, seriously, this was supposed to be my 818th time 'round, but some pushy, over-anxious soul beat me to a newborn fleshly vessel---I think his name today is Howie Mandel.

*** The purpose of meditation is to empty the mind of all thought---think fashion model.

*** My cosmic soulmate, Lotus, is into New Age. Everytime someone asks her how old she is, I hear a new age!

*** I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no socks.

*** Often my students will ask, "Master, what is the meaning of life?";" Why do humans suffer?";"How can I achieve perfect oneness with the Ultimate?"---oh, how they bore me with their mindless small talk!!

*** We are not physical beings having spiritual experiences---we are spiritual beings having physical experiences---though some are having much more fun physical experiences than others.

*** The man who has all--has nothing. The man who has nothing--has all. Then can we not say that life is "all or nothing"?? Or can we say that I have said nothing at all.---meditate on this.

Nah, but I kid Existence.

Namaste!! (And there's na mistake about it!!)