The Endless Bummer

*** The bisexual's theme song: "A Woman is a Sometimes Thing".

*** An unanticipated effect of the fall of major newspapers around the nation: sales of fish, puppies, canaries and parakeets have fallen dramatically.

*** I attended the funeral of an acquaintance I didn't know too well. They asked me to get up and say a few words.
Somewhat at a loss, I said, "potato"..lamppost"... "scissors"... "submarine"... "tree"..." rutabaga"..."tire gage"...and then sat down.

*** I suggested to my wife that we make love to Ravel's Bolero---she said, "Uh, I think the Minute Waltz would work out better!"

*** A Prayer Meeting--a collective sigh of belief!!

*** The principal activity of church seems to be a Mass---amass a fortune, that is!

*** "All in God's good time", eh? Well, what are we supposed to do while He's having a good time?

*** I think that Goodfella's TV chef should be deported to the Emeril Isle.

*** I tried to pick up women at a Black Conservative Women's convention. I think the problem was ideological. "You ain't right!" they kept telling me.