Shticky Fingers

*** I had a feeling my ex was being unfaithful when she warned the misbehaving kids, "Wait till your father comes home!!", and I was already home at the time.

*** Barack Obama chooses his first staffer, Rahm Emanuel---this is definitely not you father's administration!

*** In keeping with the multi-ethnic tone of his presidency, Obama is said to be considering for cabinet positions, Lenny Kravitz, Soledad O'Brian, Whoopi Goldberg, Rainn Pryor and the late Bernardo O'Higgins.

*** There is word that he may pick Katherine Hepburn sound-alike Robert Kennedy Jr. as head of the EPA. His first task may be to save Golden Pond.

*** According to a lesser known passage in the Book of Genesis, when Adam came home late one night Eve counted his ribs.

*** I wouldn't say Michelle Obama's dress was racy on victory night, but for a second I thought the president-elect was introducing his new wife, Tina
Turner.

*** The recently departed Mr.Blackwell rose from his grave to deliver one last nasty remark concerning Mrs. Obama's dress, "Really, is that from the Hanna-Barberra Collection?!"

*** When I first heard of the book, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Gibbon, I thought, "Wow! Who knew a monkey could write such a book?!!"

*** A beggar approached me saying "Alms for the poor! Alms for the poor!" I said, "So am I!!"