Dork Victory

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:
*** "After Losses, Battered GOP Looks to Regroup"---RNC Chairman makes mental notes---'no more candidates older than Methuselah; no more VP choices beguiled by round shiny objects.'

*** "Study Finds Migraines May Cut Breast Cancer Risk"---well, of course every...WHAT??!

*** "Airline Crew Uses Duct Tape to Restrain Passenger"---luckily there was some left over from holding the wing on.

*** "Woman Runs Mile With Rabid Fox Biting Her Arm."

*** "Palin didn't Know Africa Is A Continent and not group of countries, Says Fox News Reporter"---see above story.
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*** I told my wife that I'm very open-minded. "So you're bragging over the fact that you have a hole in your head!!" was her retort.

*** I wouldn't say Bush's approval ratings are low, but reports say he's having trouble rounding up friends to help him move out of the White House in January.

*** Al Franken is asking for a recount in the Minnesota senatorial election, where he trailed by less than 500 votes. "Some confused people wrote in 'Stuart Smalley'", explained Franken.

*** Flat-chested actress Debra Messing, formerly of "Will & Grace", will star in a new sitcom, "30 Rack."

*** I wish I had health benefits---in case I get sick I have a choice of going to St. Nowhere or Chicago Hopeless

*** I taught our dog to fetch the morning paper, but yesterday he came back because he was short of change.