*** I think of John McCain as George Bush's empty suit, but with dandruff!
*** I have faith that my bank has my best interest revenues at heart!
*** My inflatable woman is having heart surgery---having her valve replaced. I hope she mends in time for the inflatable doll swapping party our neighbors and I are having next week!
*** The judge gave my son 500 hours community service---he has to stay out of town for 21 days!
*** My friend was trying to find the cause of a puzzling car problem. I said use Occam's Razor--He said, "No thanks, I have one of my own!"
*** The local grocery was shut down again by the health department---they were selling "Sick Ham"!
*** My wife and I are co-dependent---our song is "Happy to be Stuck with You."
*** I moonlight as a private detective when work lets out for the day---they call me the 5 O'clock Shadow.
*** I confess that I once indulged a kinky fetish with a hooker---I wanted to watch a girl change from bobby-sox to stockings.
*** My uncle refused to believe he had tuberculosis until his doctor said his x-rays showed he had "conspicuous consumption."
*** My wife got one of those push-up bras---sure made me sit up and take notice!
*** Boy, was my great grandfather dumb---in the Civil War he fought for the West!
*** My son just joined a lame rock band---the "Out-of Tuners"!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
1 comment:
*** Boy, was my great grandfather dumb---in the Civil War he fought for the West!
That's nothing! My great grandfather was so dumb he once spent three years in the southeast trying to join the northwest mounted police! (rimshot!(
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