Autumn in Lawtey

*** In another ominous sign for the future, A spinoff TV show has been added to the fall schedule, "Marathon Dancing With the Stars."

*** Sarah Palin---the last time I saw something that frightening from the frozen North, it'd thawed out of a block of ice!

*** George Bush addressed the nation and said there was good news and bad news. "The good news: we'll be able to bail out these companies and keep our economy strong. The bad news: Remember that thing you folks were looking forward to called a social security check...?"

*** Real nice. The owner of Whale Tales called and said that allowing me to perform there was just a fluke!

*** A policeman who was at the show, afterward stopped me for speeding and said he was surprised I wasn't going a lot faster!

*** Located right next to a railroad line, I quipped to the people at the club, "well, at least you guys are on the right side of the tracks!" "Not tonight, we ain't!" somebody muttered.

*** I probably didn't win any friends at the get-go when I said, "Well, looks like camouflage is in this year!"

*** I probably should have been more circumspect about passing out that anti-NRA literature.

*** Outing myself as Jewish may also have been poorly considered. Not being a prop comic, I had nothing when requested to show my horns---next time I'll bring a trumpet and a trombone.

*** I have to admit, some of the material might have been a mite sophisticated for them. My line about Einstein going to visit his 'relativities' should have been blue-penciled. Not to mention the one about Frederich Neitzche and the farmer's daughter. Anyway,the punchline was, "I didn't think it would be UBER so soon!!"
Now, for the news,
• "Poll: Racial views steer some white Dems away from Obama"-- could you possibly mean Dems like Strom Thurmond, George Wallace and Lester Maddox?
• "South Africa's ruling party ousts President Thabo Mbeki"--they found his name way too hard to pronounce.
• "45,000 given go-ahead to return to Galveston"---Even Glenn Campbell's finally goin' back. Of course, the girl he left there, who was 21, is now 73.
"Damage to world's largest atom smasher forces two-month halt"---okay, are we supposed to be happy or unhappy about this?
• "Deaf 83-year-old grandmother fights off mugger in NYC"-- Lets just hope she gets her hearing in court.