*** My wife doesn't like to clean the carpet---her nature abhors a vacuum.
*** An Emmy for best Reality Show?? Isn't that like giving an award for best terminal illness?
*** My alcoholic uncle completed a rehab program, but has to take it over---he staggered through all 12 steps.
*** My wife didn't believe me when she found me with a partly undressed woman-- Really, I just wanted to see the bottom part of the tattoo on her lower back!
*** I've always loved Lao-Tse's saying that "Even a journey of a 1,000 miles must start with airplane reservations."
*** 700 billion tax payer dollars for failing companies?---the last time I saw such a larcenous bail-out, J.D. Cooper parachuted out of an airplane!
*** I'm getting ready for the big crash---I'm stocking up on apples, pencils and sandwich boards!
*** Chutzpah---that's John Wilkes Booth suing Ford's Theater for a broken ankle!
*** In a fit of exasperation I told my boss, "Lay off me!!" So he did.
*** Osama bin Laden sent George Bush a congratulatory telegram---"I knocked down only two buildings---you leveled the rest of Wall Street!"
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
1 comment:
You wife doesn't like to vacuum?
No problem for my wife! She has a Dyson.
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