Brother can you spare 700 Billion?

*** My guru told me the Buddha said, "Your enemy is your teacher"---big deal--I knew that in high school.

*** I told the topless dancer that I had forgotten her name but her nipple had a familiar ring.

*** Yes, as the poet said, "It takes a heap o' livin' to make house a home,"--well, I've had about all the living I can take in this heap!

*** Nah, it's rustic! We had no idea they'd stick us with so much rust! It was designed by that famed architect, Frank Lloyd Wrong!

*** We're so far out in the woods, the mailman mails us our mail!

*** The Democrats in Congress aren't taking this trillion dollar bailout lying down.
They're irate, combative, veritably rabid with rage at the very idea.
And, then when they get that performance over with, they'll dive like Esther
Williams.

*** Conclusion of the inquiry into last month's tragic plane crash in Madrid: the planes in Spain fall mainly in the rain.

*** Street magician David Blaine is hanging upside down in Central Park---prayers are answered!