Kibbitz and Bits

*** My tailor claims he's a good judge of character--"I take the measure of the man!" he said.

*** In her church, a minister said a prayer protecting Sarah Palin from witchcraft---talk about shutting the barn door after the horse is gone!

*** McCain has denied ever taking "soft money"---"I only accept HARD CASH," said the presidential hopeful.

*** Okay, by far the dumbest TV commercial ever: the cat litter so aromatic that the cat can't find the litter box! Not sure they thought that one out fully.

*** The new Marijuana Anonymous place in town is getting off to a rocky start--aspiring members keep passing the joint!

*** In honor of the late Frank Fontaine, his home town has established the Crazy Guggenheim Museum.

*** It's a little known historical fact that General Custer was the first man to wear an arrow shirt.

***I wouldn't say my Aunt Bertha's putting on pounds, but they just had to let out her shower curtain!

*** Hey, Clay Aiken is gay! Next, they'll tell me that ice is cold!!

*** I mean, lets face it Aiken---you were never IN the closet, or if you were it had a glass door!!