*** At last---they' have a new gadget that, with just one push of a button, instantly finds your keys, glasses and remote control!
*** Who knew all these years that Julia Child was sneaking Nazi secrets home in her German Chocolate Cake?
*** There's nothing new about that new Olympic event,"Synchronized Diving"---the White Sox did it in 1919!
*** Maybe it's just me, but in those owner's manuals I usually understand the upside-down foreign-language half better!
*** Speaking of which, I just got a new Driver Manual---he's a Mexican illegal!
*** I once accidentally followed the Spanish part of the manual for my new cable hook-up---all I can get now is "Sabado Gigante" and Major League Baseball!
***Nah, I wouldn't say that there are a lot of Hispanics in the major leagues today, but when did they start playing "Flying Down to Rio" instead of the national anthem?
*** Ah, technology today---I read that women can now buy a vibrator that can be set to "phone".
*** I'm okay with my wife having the power of the purse---I ain't gonna carry it around!
*** The two men who claim to have in their possession a dead Bigfoot, say they will submit the corpse for validation to a prestigious team of scientists in Roswell, New Mexico.
*** A new book receiving acclaim is an account of the effects of marijuana on the act of copulation. It's titled, "Splendor on the Grass".
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
2 comments:
The White Sox and Vibrator lines CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I humbly agree---but it was not I that wrote them, it was the great omniscient, omnipotent God of Comedy---Pauly Shore!
Post a Comment