Wednesday, July 9, 2008

KnickKnacks and Pollywogs

*** The police dept. is looking to hire epileptics--Object: Search and Seizure.

*** My son and I are having a real bonding experience---seems I have to bond him out of prison about once a month.

*** Caller ID told me I had a call from area code 555--I knew it was from Hollywood.

*** Because of open admittance of drug use when younger, Obama may be the first president to have to take a urine test before being inaugurated.

*** The writer's appendix burst---he was left with a semi-colon and then slipped into a comma.


*** You may call our house dusty--I call it cheap insulation.

*** It was reported that a woman in Oregon lives entirely on potato chips---they call her "The Face that Lunched a Thousand Chips"

*** A friend of mine mixed a cockatoo and a sapsucker--he got , of course, a Sapatoo.

*** Anne Rice's characters really suck!

*** A team of veterinary psychologists are treating a Bi-Polar Bear.

*** My uncle was given psychotropic drugs since they considered him the biggest psycho in the tropics.

*** FOX News denied it was making a racist remark when it reported that Obama was known to be "niggardly" in his household expenditures.

*** A great uncle of mine was involved in a scandal in the 40's when he was busted making porno films---in the family it's known as the "Black Socks Scandal."

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