Kibbles and Bits

*** After all these years the mysterious fates of Judge Crater, Amelia Earhart and Jimmy Hoffa have been made known. Documentary evidence shows they signed with the William Morris Agency prior to their disappearances.
*** Scooter Libby was absolved of all guilt for his involvement in the outing of Valerie Plame when it was proven beyond doubt that she was never a lesbian in the first place.
*** On my first ever date I got to first base, but her father threw me out at second.
*** Preparation H has pulled its recent advertising slogan, "Use Preparation H and kiss your hemorrhoids goodbye!"
*** Do you realize that but for a simple decision, we'd all be singing "God Bless Vespucciland"?
*** One one trip to Las Vegas I did very well---I arrived in a$16,000 car and left in a $100,000 bus!
*** I appreciate the airlines trying to relax their passenger with music, but I wish they hadn't played "I Go to Pieces"!
*** You can always tell a family restaurant by the arguments going on at every table.
*** I understand that the original ad slogan for the movie "Apollo 13" was ,"They could put a man on the moon, but they COULDN'T put a man on the moon!"
***Build a better mousetrap and the other mousetrap companies will beat a path to your door and try to ruin your business.