Jokes, Japes, and Jests

***If it takes you more than one second to get a Jeff Foxworthy joke, then you might just be a redneck!

*** People say I tend to repeat myself. People say I tend to repeat myself. People say I tend to repeat myself.

*** She's a real soccer mom--beats the hell out of her daughter.

*** Okay, how stupid is that ad for a kitty litter so aromatic , your cat won't be able to find the litter box? "Honey, you know it would smell like roses in here if our cat didn't keep shitting on the floor!"

*** A cop was going to write me a ticket for not having insurance. I said, "Whadya mean? I have Uninsured Motorist!'"

***There's a new safe haven for faithful who stray from the teachings of The Watchtower: The Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.

*** Sometimes I think I'm going insane--and then I remember there really WAS a TV show called "The Flying Nun"!

*** Reports are that the current Pope may be infallible NOW, but when he was in high school he could barely maintain a C average.

*** I asked my wife if she could pencil me in for a some romance later---she said, "Well, that about describes it!"

*** They're building a dermatological hospital down the road---it's a site for psoriasis.