ForeHead Lines

*** U.S. commander: Iraqis ready to handle their own security ---and Susan Boyle will be in the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

*** Huge ice island breaks off one of Greenland's main glaciers---gives whole new meaning to Island Getaway.

*** Personality set for life by 1st grade, study suggests---must explain why I still play with blocks.

*** Is extreme heat evidence of global warming? -DUH!!

*** USDA reportedly knew of problems at farm before egg recall---"Here's your brain---Here's your brain with Salmonella!"

***Report: U.S. must deal with domestic radical problem - Well,looks like the Tea Baggers may be in trouble.

*** Local politician gives screaming, emotional speech but loses--"I don't understand, he lamented, "It worked for Hitler!"

*** Al-Qaeda No. 2 criticizes Pakistani government in new tape---hey, you'd be pissy too if you had already been killed 17 tmes!

*** Lady Gaga speaks, Reid acts on 'don't ask, don't tell--- when did she replace Nancy Pelosi??!'