Put on a Happy Face (Or as Nelson Rockefeller said, "Put Happy on My Face"!

*** A joke for my Latino friends:

Take my wife!! POR FAVOR!!

*** I hate wiseacres -- once lost in NY traffic, I asked a guy for directions to

the tunnel to New Jersey---"Ah, he replied, you refer to the tunnel that will convey

you to the Garden State! The Viaduct!"

Unable to think of ONE witty riposte, with which to deflate his pomposity,I let him continue...

"Okay, My good man---proceed to that traffic light 4 blocks down, and you're as

good as there! You can't miss it, it's the tunnel at the end of the light!"

"Damn New Yorker! readers, I muttered!



*** Wise guy doctor---I asked him what blood type I am---he answered "B-O!"

*** I guess you could say Bob Marley could really wail away with a blunt instrument.

*** Book of Revelations update---7:19:
"And ye, the suffering and sore angry denizens of this realm, sought succor in the carnival, in the adventures and conversations of women of the lowest regard and ignorance whom dwelleth in the Land of Piscataway"

*** That BP really pulled a corker, Huh!??

*** It's a Good News/Bad News deal
Good News: the leak's been stopped and 75% of the oil has just disappeared.

Bad News: The oil's been devoured by the dispersants to form an often lethal toxin that may soon be available in a neighborhood near you.

*** I always leave 'em laughing---of course they're usually stone silent.

*** Speaking of tunnels, can you imagine being a worker on one of those when it was built? ---I mean, I woulda hated to be the guy chosen to put up the first brick!