The Late Night Wars or The Last Tonight Show Host Standing

Yes folks, there's been a massive and horrific human tragedy in Haiti...but lets get to the real news, shall we?

The late night follies at NBC concerning Leno, O'Brien and Jimmy Fallon.

Okay, so far Leno and O'Brien are unhappy. Leno because he got talked into that 10PM ratings graveyard and now he wants his old 11:35 show back.
O'Brien , because he's adamant about staying just where he is, rather than being pushed back to 12:05 AM.

Ah, but, not unlike the circumstances that led Richard III to observe "Sweet are the uses of adversity", NBC execs couldn't have helped but notice a significant spike in NBC's numbers since the SNAFU began.

Credible reports say this got them to thinking at a power lunch---always an ominous prospect among TV executives.

"Hey. I'm lookin' a the possibilities here!!'.
"I read that there were these two comics on radio 60-70 years ago---I can't recall their names just now---who began a mock feud, which for the few years it lasted took in monster numbers! They'd pretend to hate each other and hurl insults at one another from their respective shows! Killer stuff!
"Now, we all know our ratings were in the crapper with Leno and O'Brien and their new times---okay, now the two of them are bashing us, as well as each other---ratings are sky-rocketing!!
"Do ya see where I'm goin' here?? We turn this real animosity and hostility into a mock feud between us, Leno and O'Brien---we let it run as long it has legs!
"Meanwhile, we drag it out as long as we can---I mean, the viewing public may be stupid, but eventually they smell a rat; fortunately for us it takes well into the rodent's decomposition state for that to happen!
'So, Jay and Conan, who are contentedly in on it, being given huge salary increases to do so, will play it like a Mexican Standoff with us, the network!'
"We're going into Reality TV land here folks---okay, I'm just riffin' here: we then get Jimmy Fallon involved in the fight, along with some guy named Carson Daly, who I understand has some kinda show around 1:30---must catch it!
"Can't ya see it?---every night millions tune in to the late NBC lineup to hear the comics rip us a new one, while we fire back!! At the same time the comics are firing back at each other---like a giant Friar's Roast!!.
"Maybe, like those two old radio comics did, they'll challenge each other to a boxing match, or wrestling?? Hey, mud wrestling with bikini-clad babes in on the action!
"Lets face it guys--- this company's goin' under in the not too distant future anyway---this idea will give us more time to make hay, while we lengthen the sunshine as long as we can---then we take the money and run, like our pals on Wall Street!"
Then Jay, Conan, Jimmy and Carson can go FOX themsleves!!" (chorus of hah-hahs!)