The Real Economic Indicators---Part III

Once again, as a public service---frankly a damn imposition--- we bring to you those indicators of the sinking economy that rarely, if ever get reported by Lou Dobbs, or even some respected business newsmen:

** In a rural community a group of people and a flock of vultures were seen duking it out for roadkill!

** People are actually switching to Vontage.


** The Yankees, due to a serious shortage of ticker-tape, celebrated their Series victory parade up Broadway, while being showered with shredded unsold newspapers and magazines.

** Hookers are giving their johns '9th&10th Time Free’ punch cards.

** Dramatic increases in rentals of such post-apocalyptic films as “I, Robot”, “28 Days” “Children of Men”, etc. Film industry researchers’ interviews of customers make it clear that they’re renting them, not so much for enjoyment anymore, but to get some, as one customer put it “ helpful, handy tips on how to survive in a hellishly bleak , savage and, worst of all grimy, world.”

** Hardware stores are reporting that they can barely keep up with the demand for home generators.

** Punxatawney Phil, just taking a little off-season emergence for a glance, saw his shadow, looked around, and tore ass for the airport.

** Reports from the television industry indicate that in order to save money, next year’s new batch of sitcoms’ casts will be comprised of one A-list actor, and the rest, off-camera voices (like “Carlton the Doorman”, or never-seen characters (“Maris” on Frasier.) or in between like neighbor Wilson in Home Improvement.

** Movie Theater Chains are instructing the refreshment counter help to fill soft drink cups 85% with crushed ice, up from the previous 65%.

**In the Pet food sector, bags of dry cat food have slyly been made 2 pounds lighter, while maintaining, or increasing the price.
In Dog Foods, cut-back measures will make their impact when customers have to decide between Kibbles or Bits---sold separately!
Relatedly, a major Food concern announced that it is coming out with a new line, "Pet Food Helper".