*** I think it may be time to hit the salads again. My wife said, "Sweetie, I know the universe is expanding , but you're getting a little ahead of the curve!"
*** Now that Bush is out of office more and more tell-all books by insiders are being published.
I read an advance excerpt from one by an Air Force One pilot---he said that he and his co-pilot would joke every time they flew Dubya somewhere that they were in danger of being nabbed for "transporting dope."
*** According to another expose', Hillary Clinton was furious with Bill for "...not campaigning hard enough for me to secure the nomination against Obama."
Reportedly, the ex-President replied simply, " Look Hillary, I never promised you a Rose Garden!!"
*** Studies indicate that the nation's population is slowly but steadily becoming more "metrosexual"--- one bellwether, according to social scientists is that the film Brokeback Mountain is gaining a cult following as the "ideal 'Date Film'".
*** According to the trade mags, Jason Alexander has become so frustrated in trying to shake his image as George Costanza, that he's agreed to a risky against-type gambit---playing Maria in a West Side Story revival.
*** Halloween in Lawtey---yunno, a Haunted Mobile Home doesn't quite make it!---everyone had to walk single-file. Real cobwebs. The Ghost of Six-Packs Past, Abraham Lincoln being tormented in fiery hell by imps with pitchforks. The Capless Handyman---woo, real scary!!
*** I did lunch with an agent who caught my act about the possibility of his representing me.
He said, "Ya gotta be yourself up there!"
I said, "You expect a hefty commission for lousy advice like that?!!
*** I told my wife I was contemplating writing my autobiography. She said "Too late!! Dostoyevski already wrote 'The Idiot'!"
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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