I want to apologize to my legion of fans for not having graced the Internet with my presence the past eight days--- the FBI impounded my computer for eight days until it could check out this " terrorist suspect" Krishna Morty.
*** I heard of a couple who divorced over religious beliefs---they claimed Irreconciliable Deferences.
*** I wonder if there's a song, Coastin by the Searchers.
*** Whenever I buy a used car I think of rock music---I know it won't be long before I'm doin' the Shake Rattle and Roll.
*** I idolize iconoclasts!
*** I ain't no tough guy but I was always sure I could beat the crap out of Percy Faith.
*** A bio of character actor Whit Bissell said he was not very talkative---a friend commented that "Whit is the soul of brevity!"
*** In my jokes I like to focus on hip, contemporary references.
*** I was told, "Starve a cold, feed a fever" when I was sick recently with cold and fever---great now I'm bulemic!!
That cold medicine is a real boon too---if you're nose is running, it stuffs up your head---when your head's stuffed up, it makes your nose run!
*** I'm finally getting some recognition as a comic---three guys with crowbars chased me for half a mile!
*** There's a guy in town here so fat that at the All You Can eat place he pulls his chair up to the buffet.
No, he's fat---The forest asked him for his camouflage outfit to protect itself from loggers.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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