*** Tricky Dick may have done a lot of bad things as president, but also remember he opened up US relations with China.
Okay, now I know why there’s a prominent portrait of him hanging in every Wal-Mart bigwig’s office.
*** Sometimes I think my conspiracy theory-obsessed friend is onto something---he claims to have proof that movie studios pressure actors in modern films to mumble or otherwise render unintelligible an important piece of dialogue, therefore forcing people to go out and rent the DVD so they can find out exactly what the hell was going on.
*** From Tori Spelling Productions, the long awaited sequel, Mother, May I Do Heavy Petting with an Ax Murderer?
*** In the tradition of the hit shows of comics Ray Romano and Chris Rock, ABC is announcing a new sitcom, Everybody Has a Love/Hate Relationship with Julia Louise.
*** Well, I’m not surprised that trampy niece Sultrina says she’s Pro-Life---looks to me like she’ll be a pro for the rest of her life.
*** And my playboy nephew Ira---he tells the gals he has 6-figures in his wallet----after he has his way with them he pulls out a losing Lotto ticket!
*** Crazy Uncle Izzy is back to weaving baskets--- they caught him in the art gallery erasing moustaches on dozens of paintings.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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