*** The cops planted pot in my car. They’re coming along quite nicely.
*** This is truly the age of euphemisms--- a hooker told me she was an Intense Human Relations Technologist
*** Boy the Right is really mad at Obama---he’s a COMMIE!! a NAZI!! He’s NOT a real citizen!! He’s BLACK!! ---ease up guys , I mean he’s bad enough as he really is without all that nonsense!
*** Ambivalence---having your jokes rejected by Readers Digest.
*** “Man arrested for groping Minnie Mouse”---reportedly invited her back to his “mouse pad”.
*** She was the "Sweetheart of Ol’ Sigma Chi”?? ---the whore!!
*** In hindsight, I think I probably could have done a better job of consoling a friend whose wife just left him after he paid for her breast enhancement surgery---“Well, at least she didn’t leave you flat!”
*** In a bio, actress Jennifer Jason-Leigh implied she had serious issues with her late actor dad, Vic Morrow. She was repeatedly quoted as saying her favorite director is John Landis.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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