Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Call Me Inexcusable

*** What I say?? I was talking to my cousin, a midlevel government attache, who's leaving for Iraq. I told him to "Have a blast!!" What??

*** I often wonder if, when she was a child, Shari Lewis's mother told her to talk to the hand.

*** I just watched a action/suspense film that was so formula that I felt like I finished drinking a gallon of Similac!

*** I once tried the Shakespearean approach with the ladies. I asked an attractive lass in a bar if she wanted to make the "Beast with two backs"--- She said, "Sorry I'm just not into mad scientists!"

*** There's a cynical book aimed at marrigeable females encouraging them to use their feminine tricks and wiles to land their man.
It's called He's Just Not That Onto You!

*** We have a wife beater in the neighborhood who so far has been able to avoid arrest. He convinced the gullible cops that his wife's bruises were "Abstract Expessionist" tattoos.

*** Having insomnia is something I never lost any sleep over.

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