Levity Taxes

*** My wife accused me of being a two-timer. I said, "It ain't my fault we've only done it twice!"

*** She said I was accident prone. I said, "That's a lie! I'm often supine!!

*** My fan club is rapidly expanding. I told him he'd better diet.

*** In the tradition of cleverly using main characters' names in the titles of TV shows---such as Judging Amy, Crossing Jordan and Grey's Anatomy is coming a whole new batch in the fall: Slapping Sally, Roger's Thesaurus, Pestering Shirley, Aggravating Larry, Peeping Tom, Boswell's Jonson and Slobbering Reginald.

*** One of my acquaintances is oddly proud of his sperm count. He wrote a song about himself called "Onan River".(note to self---submit to Readers Digest)

*** The answer that Bob Dylan said was blowin' in the wind was today caught by Donovan.

*** Obama sure brought 'change I can believe in'---I can't believe how fast he's changed his mind about things he promised.

*** Okay, the CIA and Nancy Pelosi are accusing each other of being liars---next thing ya know they'll be pelting each other with pots and kettles!