Cinco de Bismarck!

*** My nephew watched Casablanca for the first time. he told me he loved it till the end, which made him feel like he wasted two hours.
I said, "Whatdya mean?!" He said, "Well, at the end Bogart says that 'the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world!' "

*** I was bragging to my wife about my having a way of making people laugh. She said, "What? At gunpoint??"

*** When officers of the law go shopping, does the checkout person use a police scanner?

*** Yeah, my aunt and uncle have a miserable marriage. They say their love song is "Ben".

*** I wouldn't say the film I saw yesterday was bad, but I heard it was released on its own recognizance.

*** I bet If TV artist Bob Ross had been around during the Renaissance he woulda had that Cistine Chapel ceiling done in three hours.!

*** A terrorist suspect who was kidnapped and flown to another country is suing the government. He said he had to listen to an "Extraordinary Bad Rendition" of show tunes.

*** I have a very depressed cousin. To cheer up he watches Ingmar Bergman films.

*** Days Inn! What a rip! They said I had to check out before sundown!