*** It's very important to have one's chakras re-tuned and realigned--go to my brother, Dr. Krishna Murray, the Chakrapractor,---he does good work--- mention my name.
*** Yesterday my cosmic soul mate asked me if her astral looked fat in her Sari.
*** I must defend my late spiriual brother, the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, whom the Beatles said tried to force carnal knowledge on Mia Farrow. The truth is, he was trying to warn her of his future vision of her life being troubled by a "funny little Jewish nebbish".
*** It is very imperative that one practice Tai Chi and Chi Gong---afterward , eat plenty of macaroni and chi.
*** "I help people reach true enlightment through loss of their egos. Unfortunately,the police did not buy my explanation for committing identity theft.
*** Many people do not know that in the mystic East, the popular expression is, "Gone today, here tomorrow."
*** My cosmic soulmate always makes me wait whenever we go someplace. I am forever yelling, "Be Here Now!"
*** A mystic friend of mine was studying my aura one time while I did my gig. He said my jokes were disturbingly off-color!
*** Every action, minute or grand, we perform vibrates across the universe for good or for evil. And you thought Catholicism and Judaism generated guilt!!
*** The Ancient Wisdom teaches us that a prayer should be said before eating, showing gratitude to the innumerable people who were involved in the process that brought your food to your table---even if sometimes their hands weren't clean and a few spat in the vat.
*** Many people ask me, "Are we here to serve the temporal power, or are we here to serve the divine spirit. I answer, paraphrasing the great spiritual teacher, Jesus, "Render onto Obama that which is Obama's, and render onto God..."---wait, I already said that!!"
*** Having reached an enlightened state, I can sit perfectly still and access all the wisdom and knowledge in the universe---thank God for Google!!
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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