*** My shrink said I was a driven person. I shot back, "That's ridiculous! I always drive here by myself!!"
*** On the 20th anniversary of the Exxon Valdeez oil spill, Captain Hazelwood attempted to rewrite history with the excuse that he was trying to "pour oil on troubled waters".
*** My aunt and uncle have had a very turbulent marriage--they call it The Thirty Years War!.
*** I asked the veteran where he served. he said Laos!. I said, "Hey, I didn't send you there!!"
*** My great-grandfather, the dumb lion trainer, was afraid he'd be killed if he used a stool softener.
*** My sister. I told her she might enjoy a good Graphic Novel. She bought Lady Chatterly's Lover.
*** I had to explain to her that X-Men were not males who had sex change operations.
*** Brain scientists say that if you exercise a lot you'll endorphin a good mood.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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