Direct from Heaven, Bob Hope!

*** How 'bout super swimmer Michael Phelps smokin' pot?

- I heard the officials got suspicious when he couldn't swim a straight lane.

-Also the fact that he couldn't do synchronized swimming alone raised some red flags.

- I guess that wasn't the chlorine that made his eyes red.

- And that time when he actually floated out of the water while doing the butterfly should have raised concerns.

-Someone's eyebrows should have been raised, when, during a relay race he passed the next swimmer a joint.

-But I wanna tell ya, they shoulda suspected something was up when he admitted his favorite song was "Smoke on the Water".

-Nah, but they weren't buying his excuse that it helped his performance by giving him a bouyant feeling.