*** My wife's cooking is not the best. Last night she made me beef stew. First I beefed and then I stewed.
*** Doctors in Great Britain are puzzled by the onset of malignancies among young Briish actors. They're calling it Colin Cancer.
*** Fans of actress Kathy Bates may not know that after her nude hot tub scene in "About Schmidt", she was voted president of SAG.
*** In my yellow pages "Surrogate Mothers" is listed under 'Womb Service'.
*** A friend of mine's father is a transsexual. He showed me his family pictures. "Here's my father as a boy. And here he is as a girl."
*** Well, my wife's elementary art school teacher job's in jeopardy---I warned her not to put up that "Running with Scissors" movie poster in the classroom.
*** I tried out a line with my wife. I asked, "Didya see where I went with that joke?" She said, "No. But I wish it were the next room!!"
*** I've always taken comfort from that saying, "True genius is never recognized in its own time." I don't know who said it. He hasn't been recognized yet.
The One Liners #365
16 years ago
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