Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Chriskwanznukkah!!

*** I Thought Chistian Bale was Papal Dispensation.

*** Is it just me or is there a whole bunch of indistinguishible young British actors with names like Colin, Ewan and Hugh??---I think they're all really the same guy and he rotates movies with Cate Blanchett, Helen Mirren, Kate Winslet and Tilda Swinson.

*** This new film opens today in which Tom Cruise leads a plot to kill his evil leader---I thought L. Ron Hubbard was already dead!

*** Well that big jolly fat man with the funny clothes, saying "Ho Ho Ho", came by our house last night---yeah,the neighborhood pimp.

*** Some black friends invited us over to their Kwanzaa Hut today to celebrate their holiday.

*** Well, Santa disappointed me again---I hung a female body stocking again and again no Charline Therzon.

*** Man, what a bunch of gifts I got this year: A digital toothbrush; A Digitalis camera---not only takes pictures but eases my arthritis; A Menorah with those joke re-igniting candles; A sport jacket with a reversible inner lining; the home game version of "Jackass"; An imitation bottle of Brut; A pen light for writing light verse; A piece of the Berlin Wall that was frequently urinated on; A book of Psychic Sylvia Browne's predictions for 2008; 1000 shares of WorldCom; a photo of the Partridge Family hanging from a pear tree; and Bernard Madoff's book, "How to Scam Friends and Implicate People":

2 comments:

Author Joe Dyson said...

I think that I got a text message from Tilda Swinson. It was simply signed, ~

Desert Son said...

"My ~ , she take me money and go to Venezuela..."