Sabado Gigante!!

THIS IS NEWS TO ME:

Man arrested after cops find mummified remains in his trunk---cops acted on probable corpse.•

Computer makers recall 100,000 laptop batteries for overheating---too many of those people downloading porn, obviously.

'Jerry Maguire' Inspiration Arrested--- I guess he didn't show Cuba Gooding ALL the money!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*** Are we really supposed to be impressed when we're told "Candidate X never forgot where he came from!"? I mean, beside a total amnesiac, who can't??

*** "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"?---anyone see game 5 of the World Series?

*** I'm a self-hating Jew---I'm just the type of person who likes to save other people the trouble.

*** That boxer was always taking a dive. They called him Dracula's mistress 'cause he was always going down for the Count.

*** PJ Max---Sounds just about the right size for my sleepwear.

*** Those Hollywood actors have class---even when they have affairs they're always catered.

*** The economy really has my wife worried. I jokingly told her, just to get a reaction, that I was having an affair. "I just hope she's payin' you!!" she said.

*** That group Chicago---first they think they were in the park on the Fourth of July, then they keep asking "does anyone really know what time it is?" They seem time-challenged.