On a Clear Day You Can See Russia.

• This is news to me:
"No. 2 leader of al-Qaida in Iraq has been killed, U.S. military says"---what, again!!! What is this guy Abdul Mohammed Lazarus??!!

• "Polar bear security needed at Alaskan football game"--paging Governor Palin---bring your rifle!! Polar Bears issue statement: "Hey, you stop melting our ice floes and we'll stay out of your stadium!!"

• "British newspapers: Madonna and Ritchie to announce divorce"---however, she's still happy with the rest of the Commodores, said Madonna.

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*** With a much larger war chest, the Obama campaign has been mailing out 10 times more literature than McCain---sadly for McCain, his campaign literature can only be found in fortune cookies.

*** Sarah Palin---Evita Peron in a Parka.

*** Palin was informed that drilling in Alaska would endanger many animal species. "And the problem is...?," responded Palin.

*** For Quasimoto everyday was "hump day".

*** I wonder if Anthony Newley got off on the Day the Earth Stood Still.

*** I love Mozart. Especially his beautiful, "I'm Inclined to Knock Music"!

*** Okay, again let me emphasize that I'm a big fan of due process and the Bill of Rights, but the creators of the GEICO caveman commercials should be forced to go skinny-dipping in a live volcano.