Duck Feathers

*** I don't mean to be gross, but examined etymologically, isn't asking for feedback inviting someone to hurl on you?

*** I called the National Dyslexia Association: their answering machine said, "When you hear the message, please leave you beep."

*** I know it can be a bitch having dyslexia---a friend of mine wanted to get some LSD and he wound up with high-speed Internet.

*** Belatedly aware of the possible peril of calling their store "Target", the chairman of the board anounced that forthwith it will be changed to "Ground Zero."

*** Our government is based on the idea of Checks and Balances---we write too many checks and have no balance to speak of.

*** The first half of your life you're worried that you're adopted--the second half, you wish it were so.

*** Our K-9 officer in town is the pits--his dog has more collars than he does!

*** Some guys don't know what it means to walk in the door and have a woman throw her arms around you and kiss you---it means you've gone home to see your mother!