Slings and Arrows

*** Fugitive Serbian war criminal Radovan Karadzic, was caught 13 years after he disappeared.working as a health food guru.
Said Karadzic, "Hey, you know , you must sometimes reinvent yourself, explore all facets of your being, you know,from slaughterer of 200,000 people, to teaching people to have better lives through eating right! It's all about growth!'

*** Concerned doctors suspect that George W. Bush might have a brain on his tumor.

*** Show me a tornado hitting a bakery and I'll show you a Napoleon blown apart!

*** Okay, folks say I'm crazy but there IS a utility company in Miami called People's Gas.

*** I took Spanish in high school. All I remember is "Como se Llama usted" which means, i THINK, "Your llama looks like Perry Como, you said?!"

*** The Pentagon today anounced we will stay in Iraq for 5 more years , or until there are no living Iraqis left--whichever comes first.

*** My doctor concerns me---while giving me a prostate exam, I felt both his hands on my shoulders.

*** I'm all for sex before marriage, as long as it doesn't hold up the ceremony!

*** Our marriage hit a rocky point some years ago---my wife said she was going to see a few good men---I thought she meant the movie!

*** It's been a bad few nights of sleep for me---first I dreamed that Karl Malden asked to borrow my handkerchief; the next night it was Brock Peters!

*** Reports are that in order to get the Southern white vote, Barack is changing his last name to O' BAMA!!

*** I bought an Infiniti---I felt ripped off when I had to junk it after only 120,000 miles.