Countdown to Stupor Monday

Apparently the military is scrapping the "Don't Ask-Don't Tell" policy in favor of what they're calling the "I feel simply fabulous in these fatigues!!" option.

One guy told me, "I wish I had your stand-up gigs on a loop!"---I thanked him humbly. Then he said, "Yeah, I'd like to see you holding your material while you're having a noose fastened around your neck!"


Reports are that George Bush has gone AWOL from the Haiti assignment given him by President Obama. Bush sources claimed that it was just temporary, as he had several Motivational speaking engagements to fulfill.

What kind of blood do people who can't master a typewriter have? Typ-O!!

In Business news, it's being reported that JC Penney's is taking over all the Dollar Stores and will change its name to Penney's on the Dollar.

How about that? Lady Gaga to join The Goo Goo Dolls, forming Ga-Ga-Goo-Goo!!

There's a new Special search engine for finding Marine and Oceanic websites---Goggle