The Iceman Stayeth

No, I wouldn't say we're having a cold snap but,
people, en masse are renting Ice Station Zebra to
warm up....Hens are laying eggs
from a standing position....My son advertised for a girl running a high fever to share his apartment.....people are putting stuff in their
refrigerators to keep it warm.....people are getting up in the morning and having a chunk of coffee..... some snowbirds passing through town said they came here for the winter, I said, "Well, you're just in time!!".....reportedly up north, Polar Bears are wearing grizzlies.....potheads are complaining of frozen bong water..... Paris Hilton let guys get on top of her just for the warmth..... the cuckoo in our clock came out wearing long johns..... (for the literati)--I'm reading Jack London's "To Build a Fire" just to feel warm and cozy.....Networks yanked Cold Case Files off the air.....
People are faking threats to national security just to get sent to Cuba..... our cats
are demanding pre-heated MeowMix..... In the doghouse I found the two encased in a block of ice with James Arness.....Hell has not only frozin' over but the Devil's forming a Pro Hockey League.....people are flocking to Judge Judy for her warmth.... Tiger Woods said, "I don't care if this is the final nail in my coffin-- but I need to be in bed with 8 women right now!!--- over 800 degrees of body warmth---hmm
hmmm!"