The Sayings of Krishna Morty---Distilled Wisdom

Hey Folks!! Great to be here!! In fact, it's even greater being everywhere! (cuts down on phone bills and travel expenses!)

Today I am here to shamelessly plu...er...to raise your awareness of the imminent release of my first book, The Spiritual Wisdom and Sayings of Krishna Morty: or 'Yo, This is the Shit!!'
(Actually, in truth, this is my third book---my first two were attempts at novels, "There's a Scary Serial Killer Out There Doing Bad Stuff to People Like You Shouldn't Know From" and " Ya Know It's the Darndest Thing and I Know You'll Find This Really Hard to Believe But I Still Have Vague Recollections of What You Did Last Summer", were both turned down by Flybinyte Publishers.

I have collected the adages, maxims, saws, homilies, axioms, bon mots that I have written over the years (last night) and which I know will be a helpful guide for your journey on your path... of which I hope the first leg of is straight to Books-a-Million.
Here are but a few of the pearls of wisdom which I m sure will enable to you to make the world your oyster:

" Let a smile be your umbrella and save money on toothpaste"

" Never judge a man till you've walked a mile in his undershorts"

" Never throw out the dirty baby with the clean bath water"

" With props to Will Rogers, I've met plenty of men I didn't like---usually my employers!"

" Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day---Teach a man to fish and he may die of mercury poisoning"

" A penny saved means you need serious financial advice!"

" A job slowly done will quickly get you on the unemployment line.

" Never look a gift horse in the mouth, he may mistake your nose for a carrot!"

" What goes around will make you dizzy and nauseous if stared at too long!"

" Except for two minutes a broken clock is wrong all day!"

" I see neither the glass half-empty nor half-full; merely twice as large as it needed to be!"

"The pen is mightier than the sword, but make sure the guy with the sword is at least several miles away!"

" Do not go gentle into that good night, but perform something short of a shooting spree at the dying of the light"

" It is far better to give than to receive, especially when it applies to STD's"

It's been nice spending this time together as I'm usually falling apart!!