Reduced Emissions Impossible

*** I wonder what Tiger Woods's handicap will be after the wife gets threw with him?
Relatedly, friends of the golfer are being cautioned not to use the word "slice" around him.

*** Crazy Uncle Izzy with his inventions---C'mon?? A "Morning-After Condom".??

*** Some Wall Street Honchos say they've been doing some "soul-searching". So far, they've found nothing.

*** Niece Sultrina is all excited about a movie part she's been offered. She says it's one of those warm, now popular 'Me and My Pet'-type films.
I had to explain to her that "A Woman and Her Donkey will probably not exactly be another Marley and Me.

*** Reportedly MacIntosh is unveiling its new slogan in its battle to take business away from Bill Gates---"We Don't Do Windows!!"

*** Dieting again. I wouldn't say it's aggravating fighting the Battle of the Bulge, but I walk around all day saying "Nuts!!"

*** The first openly gay woman was elected mayor of Houston---A gay rights group trumpeted defiantly"Houston---ya gotta problem??"